Monday

Heart v. Brain

When I first saw this cartoon a few months ago, I had a little tiny bit of a chuckle before I realized it's one of those things that's humorous because it's true. UGH.  
A few days ago during a conversation I was having with one of my best friends (let’s call her Bambie) the image popped back into my mind. Bambie was telling me how happy she was to be seeing a really great new guy, but that she was paranoid that even though he seems totally awesome, sweet, creative, caring, and warm, he’d turn out to be a complete lying a-hole like her previous boyfriend. “Stop projecting!” was my immediate response, which, like all advice, is easier said than done.

A few days later,  another close friend was talking about something similar, he really wants a relationship, but feels like it’s just too risky open himself up to someone after having been hurt before.

I started thinking about the times I’ve taken my past experiences and projected them onto new relationships before they’ve had a chance to reveal what they will be.  Is it because relationships so often let us down that the self -preservation kicks in as soon as we feel even remotely excited or happy? Or do we ensure the disappointment and failure of a relationship by projecting all our fears from past experiences onto brand new ones? Both?  Someone with all the answers please read and advise. THX.

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