When I first saw this cartoon a few months ago, I had a little tiny bit of a chuckle before I realized it's one of those things that's humorous because it's true. UGH.
A few days ago during a conversation I was having with one of my best
friends (let’s call her Bambie) the image popped back into my mind. Bambie was
telling me how happy she was to be seeing a really great new guy, but that she
was paranoid that even though he seems totally awesome, sweet, creative,
caring, and warm, he’d turn out to be a complete lying a-hole like her previous
boyfriend. “Stop projecting!” was my immediate response, which, like all
advice, is easier said than done.
A few days later, another close friend was talking about something similar, he
really wants a relationship, but feels like it’s just too risky open himself up
to someone after having been hurt before.
I started thinking about the times I’ve taken my past experiences
and projected them onto new relationships before they’ve had a chance to reveal
what they will be. Is it because
relationships so often let us down that the self -preservation kicks in as soon
as we feel even remotely excited or happy? Or do we ensure the disappointment and
failure of a relationship by projecting all our fears from past experiences onto brand new
ones? Both? Someone with all the
answers please read and advise. THX.
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